How I got here…

Hi. My name is Smile (not really but I’m not brave enough to put my real name out here yet).  My entire life I never wanted to have kids.  That is until I woke up one day a few years ago and discovered a few things – one, that I didn’t want to go through life without experiencing having a child, and two, that the biological clock is no joke, and three that the dream to have a child would start out small but grow in desire over the years.  We waited another year to get everything in order before we started trying (ha – if only I had known then what I know now).  Since then we have been trying (oh how I hate that word) for 14 months, which I know in the infertility trenches is not a long time, but it feels like it at times.  So far we have been through a year of timed intercourse, and three failed IUIs – with no root cause for our infertility.  Many times it feels like the ‘unexplained infertility’ diagnosis is one big crapshoot of trying a bunch of medical procedures to see if one will actually work.  We are about to embark on our first round of IVF as soon as my period arrives to put the nail in the coffin on this third and final IUI (if the negative pregnancy tests and beta weren’t enough).

Throughout the last 14 months I have been reading/lurking in the world of infertility blogs and have been amazed by the community of strong women and the outpouring of support and love for people struggling through this mind fuck of a disease.  I figured it was time that I put myself out there in the hopes that my story would help others as well as help me to benefit from the advice of this wonderful community during our first IVF.


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