So I started this blog right before we were to undergo our first IVF (that should tell you how well it went). And, not being a real writer and being scared of being truly raw and open about this experience it never really felt like I could find my voice. I think it was because I was trying to write to some sort of imaginary audience instead of just talking like I would to a friend. So I’m going to try this again in the hopes that even if no one ever reads it, it will help me to survive this. Oh, and a disclaimer – I swear (a lot), and although I am mostly a pretty positive person, humor and being able to lose my shit about the ridiculousness of this is how I cope.
First thing – I am renaming this blog ‘my lady bits’. One of my very best friends and I were joking about all of this wonderful process and laughing that our cross country phone calls now revolve around the escapades of my lady bits. She thought it would be the perfect, absurd, and ridiculous name for a blog. So we’ll go with that because not only does she want to hear all about my lady bits, I know from reading a ton of other IF blogs that there are others that want to hear and share about this infertility nightmare out there as well.
Which brings me to my next point. When I naively started down this path, after the first sign of trouble, I did what any other technology geek/type A personality would, and decided to google everything I could possibly get my hands on about fertility, treatments, and experiences. So I fond a ton of IF blogs that I started to follow. And discovered a whole community out there that was supportive, caring and truly ‘gets’ what it’s like to go through this when my family and friends (although wonderful and supportive) can’t fully grasp it. So I have lurked, and lurked, and lurked. And then tried to write a blog (see paragraph one above) and just never found my stride. But reading the stories of all of these amazing women has stuck with me. And especially this week as there are a number of ladies going through some hard, and amazing times. So I figured that I should have the guts to ‘come out’ and put my story out there. Regardless of being a fairly private person and my fear of putting this all out on the very public interwebs.
I will save the long story of the clusterfuck/disaster that was my first IVF for my next post…