No miracle, aka IVF #2 and coming out to my boss

Sorry I’ve been absent for a while.  Was on vacation for a few days in New Orleans with my bestest girlfriends who live on the opposite coast from me.  As I think I mentioned before, we do this every year, but this year I assumed I wouldn’t be able to go because I was hoping one of the many fertility treatments would have worked and we would be knocked up.  But I was not knocked up so I decided to go pretty last minute.  And I am so glad that I did.  We ate (a lot), we drank (a lot) and stayed up far too late talking and catching up.  It was lovely and definitely what I needed right now.  They both know what we are going through and have been very supportive, asking lots of questions, agreeing with me that it sucks, and hoping for us that it will work out.  

While I was there I was towards the end of the 2WW and hoping to achieve the mythical unicorn of the in between treatments pregnancy, but alas, got my period yesterday on the long trip home.  Weirdly I wasn’t even a bit upset, I think that although I had a shred of hope, that was outweighed by more realistic expectations.  So I emailed my IVF coordinator to let her know that we were ready to get #2 started and she sent me the schedule.

Here’s the short version (for all of you that are looking for more info on what a typical schedule is for the Ganirelix/Cetrocide protocol – I did luteal lupron for IVF #1 and it failed miserably, see history or post for more info)

Start BCP tonight 10/23 (BCP is the devil for me – I’m sure I will have a post to come on that later this week)

Stop BCP on 11/12

Suppression check on 11/14 and if all goes well start Follitism and mini HCG (whatever that is – that’s a new one for me)

Tentative retrieval on 11/26 (right before Thanksgiving, crazy)

Transfer (please universe, god and sweet baby jesus let us have something to transfer) 3 or 5 days later


Here is where I need help.  I am supposed to travel and give a presentation at a conference the week of 11/18.  With the monitoring and drugs and all that, I obviously won’t be able to do it.  The wonderful ladies who work for me and some of my close female colleagues know that we are going through all of this, but I haven’t told my boss or anyone else.  I feel like I at least need to tell the lead for this conference (male) and my boss (also male) that I can’t travel and a little about what we’re going through.  I was able to avoid telling them for IVF #1 because my travel schedule miraculously worked out with my IVF schedule and my retrieval was during labor day weekend.  Any advice from those who have done this before?  I realize it may be awkward but I also don’t want to make up some other excuse for why I won’t be able to attend and why I will have to take off work.


2 thoughts on “No miracle, aka IVF #2 and coming out to my boss

  1. I stumbled onto your blog as I was rolling through others…
    I told my boss (female, though) when I had to skip a few days of work for my laparoscopy. I had done 3 IUIs before then and knew taking days off so suddenly (surgery date was confirmed like 2 days before) would raise suspicion anyway. Didn’t want her to think I was interviewing for another job.. I know it’s different to tell a female boss vs. a male boss but she was very understanding, had other family members and friends who’s gone through infertility treatments. It helps that she’s a bit older than me and already has two kids. Hope your conversation went smooth with your boss.. and good luck on IVF #2! Will keep reading your blog for updates.


  2. Thanks Allison – unfortunately we had Halloween at the office the day that I was supposed to tell him (they do a big trick or treating thing – lots of kids including his daughter that joined us for the day). Planning on posting about that shortly 🙂

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