Cracked out pumpkin carving (#IFpumpkinsmackdown!) and other topics


So I carved this with the help of my husband for the amazing #IFpumpkinsmackdown 2013.  And then it became obvious that we have zero artistic talent or creativity between the two of us.  And then I looked closer and realized that our pumpkin looks cray cray.  And then we joked that it looks a bit like me when I have two tons of fertility drugs running through my body.  Cray cray, indeed.

On another note, I finally came out to my boss today about our infertility struggles and IVF.  I wanted to do it last Friday, but his daughter and all the other adorable children were here for our company’s 3 hour Halloween party.  Oh, the cuteness and baby overload, I lasted about an hour and then went straight to happy hour – yay for wine.  So anyway, I sat down and and talked to him today.  I should say before I go into the details, that I have worked with him as a peer and for him directly for a number of years.  He has been a wonderful champion and mentor to me and he knows both me and my husband (and I know his family) – so our relationship is definitely beyond just regular employee and boss.  Which is another reason why I really just wanted to open up to him about what has been going on.  

We were talking about a meeting with another team that ended awkwardly so I took that as my cue.  “Speaking of awkward…”  I told him the very high level details – that we were trying to get pregnant and it was going very badly.  So badly that we were going to have to do IVF.  To summarize in bullets, here is how the rest went:

The good – and really, it was all very good and nice:

  • He knows both me and my husband and looked truly excited for us that we were trying to extend our family
  • He listened and was totally cool with it as I told him that it meant that as of November 15th I would not be able to travel, and for longer if it was actually successful
  • He said that one of his best friends had been through this – they did IVF three times before they were successful, so he did have some knowledge of the process and how it works (which thank god, I really didn’t want to have to go into the detail of my schedule).
  • He is going to Europe in two weeks and said that he would be happy if I wanted to join him before my treatments start and is also totally fine if not, but wanted to put it out there if it was something I wanted to do.   To which I said to myself – hell yes, might as well get a few days in Paris before the IVF shit show truly begins.  So yay for an unexpected work trip to Europe!

The bad:

  • He said that it us doing IVF was ‘exciting’.  This is about the fifth or sixth time I have heard the IVF ‘adventure’ described as something exciting.  I know that he was trying to be nice and positive, as I think everyone is.  But exciting is never the word that should be chosen for this.  This process is not exciting, it will be exciting as fuck if it actually works, but for now it is excrutiating, and depressing, and crazy and emotionally and financially exhausting.

All joking about the ‘exciting’ thing aside, it was a great conversation, I am so happy that I can now be open about this and it reaffirms the relationship that I have with him and this company.  Very relieved that it’s over with for sure.

On day 7 of evil birth control pills – my hatred for them will be saved for another post…



3 thoughts on “Cracked out pumpkin carving (#IFpumpkinsmackdown!) and other topics

  1. Thank you for blogging. Your story is very similar to mine. Anyway I had to comment because I too had to come out to my boss about a Jan IVF cycle (I’m an accountant and jan = tax season). Both middle -aged male bosses said “congratulations, that’s great!” I was like “WTF is happening!” I know most people have no clue what the journey to IVF looks like but come on “congratulations”!?! Like you, the conversation was fine and they are totally supportive but I’m still baffled by the intial response.

  2. That’s when you want to say ‘let’s hold the congratulations for when this f’ing process actually works’. Hopefully someday you and I both will be able to be excited about and get congratulations from well meaning people for a successful IVF and healthy pregnancy!

  3. yeah I’ve had people ask me if I’m “excited” about going through IVF.. I mean, I’m excited about the possibility of eventually having our baby, but definitely not excited about having to go through IVF to get there!

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