8dp3dt and the fear sets in

Have been testing every day since the trigger was out on (5dp3dt)- and still glaring negatives so far.  I realize it is early, and that there are many that don’t test until beta, but I just can’t do that.  I need to feel some sort of control over what is happening, and for me peeing on sticks seems to help in that area.

Since we are at the equivalent of 11dpo I am starting to really get scared that this didn’t work.  I also had a shitty day at work yesterday, so there is lots of stress going on in my world right now which probably isn’t helping my mood.  Up until last night I felt really good mentally, I had been feeling so physically crappy I thought for sure that something was happing in there and that gave me hope.  But as of last night I don’t have any symptoms anymore – bloating is mostly gone, no more nausea, no more cramping, only thing is that my boobs are a bit sore, but that has to be from the progesterone.  It’s awesome that progesterone is that much of a mind fuck – really great that all the symptoms mimic each other.  And I know I will be OK if this round ends badly, it is not the end of our story – but right now just the thought of going through this again makes me so very sad and tired.

My mission for today is to get through the day and then to somehow survive the rest of this week without the things that help me to get through a shitty mood – hot yoga and drinking wine, neither of which I am allowed to do right now.

Sorry for the debbie downer post, one can hope that the it’s actually hcg that is causing me to be sad and angry today :).  Will test again tomorrow and hope for the best.

 

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12 thoughts on “8dp3dt and the fear sets in

  1. Oh hon. This sucks! But like you said, nothing is definite yet. I think this is why they want you to wait until the betas, but of course that’s impossible! (I won’t be able to wait either) Hang in there! Praying for a BFP tomorrow! ❤️

  2. If it’s any consolation, on my positive cycle I had no symptoms whatsoever and I didn’t test till I was 13dpiui, so who knows what it would have been at 10 or 11. It’s not over yet. But if this cycle doesn’t work out, we’re all here for you, and your story isn’t over. Hugs.

    • That definitely helps – did test today, which is day 13 and still nothing, so not feeling good about the outcome right now, but maybe there will be some sort of miracle in the next 48 hours. Thanks for being here and listening (and being my sock buddy) – this community and the people that I have gotten close with is the bright spot in this shit storm 🙂

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