Part 1: Sleeping through the New Year
So I’m back. There was lots more drama after the sister texting that involved me finding out about her being terrible to my mother and a long fight in a restaurant with all of us crying, good times. I am too exhausted to write it all out now, but will do at some point. The important thing is that it’s over, we got some things out in the open, and my sister’s behavior will either change from here on out, or it won’t and her and I won’t see her much. At the end I did tell her that if we have an inkling of this drama when I am out there for CCRM (spoiler alert for the CCRM section below) all contact would stop until I’m done with IVF. And I mean it – I can’t take this level of stress with all the other shit going on in my life right now and she needs to realize that.
We got home Tuesday night after a fairly bizarre flight where the people in front of us made out the whole time (what the hell?) and my husband got pretty hammered on wine during the flight and I didn’t notice he was drunks until we were in a cab on the way home. So it was an interesting trip. We got in the door at 9 pm, went up the street to get some takeout, and the restaurant was starting their big New Years party at the same time, which I was not even remotely interested in sticking around for. Went home, ate food, and went to bed snuggled up with my 65 pound goofball of a dog. I even slept through the fireworks.
Woke up New Years Day and literally all I wanted to do was to go to a yoga class at noon. So I get my ass up, drive downtown and pull into the parking garage that I normally park in. I should mention that the garage was open – it let me pull in, get a ticket and park. About two minutes later the gate comes down and I realize there are two other people driving around the lot looking annoyed. We are locked in the parking garage, fucking awesome. So this woman, myself, and another guy try to figure out how to get someone to let us and our cars out. We manage to escape on foot and end up going to 3 different garages to find some supervisor of the garage that is in this same chain to open it up so we can get our cars out. It was a frustrating adventure with lots of terrible customer service. By that point I had missed yoga completely. Went home, unpacked, did laundry and passed out happily at about 9 pm to go to work the next morning. Going back to work has been insane, have barely dug out and so haven’t been able to read any blogs our comment, am hoping to get back to all my blog reading and amazing ladies over the weekend.
So there’s my New Years wrap-up. This year I’m not feeling the resolutions or the noting of good and bad in 2013 (along with the bad there was definitely some good). Maybe I will be feeling it in a few weeks and do a Happy February 2014 post or something.
Part II: The CCRM Consult
We went down to CCRM from my mom’s place in Denver. It is in a very odd (to me) neighborhood, this big building that seems to be surrounded by townhouses, I guess I am used to city doctor’s offices. Got right in and met with a nurse to do vitals and then onto the consult room to meet with Dr G. He came in right away and was super nice – we spent a bit talking about living in the DC area and the holidays and then into the details. He hadn’t received my records from my clinic but had all the online forms we had filled out and I took him through my history, my shitty eggs as well as family history. After hearing all the details, including my sister’s history with early miscarriages, he told us he was going to write down his diagnosis and what he would suggest for a next round so that we would have a copy. He said that my current clinic had done pretty much exactly what he would have done and that my past failures would help them to put together a plan that would at least give us a chance at having another shot, he didn’t think it was time to go onto donor eggs just yet.
So here is what his notes laid out:
1. Diminished ovarian reserve (my reserve is actually not awful but apparently DOR is a diagnosis also given to diminished quality, who knew?)
2. Poor fertilization (likely due to egg quality but want to do comprehensive sperm analysis as well)
3. Family history of miscarriages (even though I have never even seen a second line he wanted to preemptively take some steps here if and when I get pregnant – makes me happy, I am all for doing whatever we can here)
Plan for IVF 3:
1. Start supplements right away and be on them for 8 weeks for them to take effect:
DHEA 25 mg 3x a day
Coq10 400 mg 2x a day
Myoinositol 2 gm 2x a day
2. No BCP’s this time (yay, hate those fuckers) – instead we do a combo of estrogen and testosterone priming for 4 weeks to try and improve egg quality before the stims start. This means that we can’t do a fresh transfer as they don’t do fresh transfers with the testosterone – but apparently at CCRM they have some crazy technology to freeze on day 3 if we have to.
3. Antagonist protocol for the actual cycle with the following:
Saizen HGH (for egg quality and also so I can blame everything on roid rage)
Trigger with HCG + Lupron (also to try and help quality)
4. After egg retrieval:
Will do ICSI/PICSI/IMSI (we have done ICSI but don’t remember what the other two are, will have to google that up)
Will add calcium ionophone to try and help fertilization
5. Freeze on day 3 or day 5/6 depending on results
6. If they get to day 5/6 do CCS testing
Additional testing they want to do during our 1 day workup:
Ultrasound with doppler for blood flow
Sperm chromatin analysis and culture (we just had the regular semen analysis done before) to see if there are sperm DNA or fragmentation issues
B3 integrin test
Depending on when I get my next period (we are in CD16 and no ovulation in sight) I will either get labs done here for my CD3 labs or fly out to Denver. We are going on a trip to the Bahamas that my husband got through work and is non-refundable on February 1 (and Godamn I need a vacation) so unless I ovulate pretty much tomorrow we will likely not start this until late February, early March.
Since the 1 day workup is somewhere between days 5 and 12 of the cycle I’m thinking that since I can stay with my mom it might be worth it to just go out there for both the 3 day blood draw and 1 day workup. The B3 integrin test has to be done 9-11 days after ovulation so I could get that done here or fly back out if the tickets are cheap enough. The actual cycle I can do the first part of stims here and then go out or just do the whole round in Denver. Again, thinking that since work is cool with me working from anywhere (I’m in software) and I can stay with my mom I would rather just go out there for all of this. I am sure that is being overly conservative but I do think there is value in having everything done and all the records in one place if doable.
So that’s it – that’s the plan. I was super happy with our meeting at CCRM and feel like they are going to throw all the testing and technology at my shitty eggs to try and make the difference. I do love my clinic here as well but doubt they will be as aggressive, nor do the have the technology to do some of these options. Since we won’t do a fresh transfer we are looking at a pretty long wait before there is another (please, please) embryo or two up in here, but I’m honestly not super anxious about the long wait (yet). It will likely make the fall even harder if the next round doesn’t work, but it’s also worth it to give us the best shot that it will. And who knows, maybe we will go relax on vacation and that will magically cure me (note the very, very intended sarcasm here).
I hope everyone out there had a great holiday and New Year and wanted to say thanks again, and again, for all of your lovely tweets, comments and words of encouragement when I was in a shitty place over Christmas. This community means the world to me and is helping more than anything to get me through this time in my life.