This will be a fairly short, bulleted, and likely all over the godamn place post, but I need to write it down to make some sort of sense of it.
Remember when I said I was afraid I ovulated to soon and it was going to make me have to go from Europe straight to Denver for CCRM? Haa, once again I have apparently tempted the universe and it is now laughing at me for attempting to even plan anything.
- According to the OPKs I ovulated on CD13 (earliest ever and gave me some hope that all the supplements were doing there thing). However I was a bit suspicious since I didn’t get sore boobs like I normally do the day after.
- I got the sore boobs around CD16 but had a negative OPK. However we were on vacation so at least we were having fun vacation sex right around that time.
- I expected to get my period last Wednesday – it is always exactly 13 days after ovulation except for the times I was on Femara when it would be around 14 or 15. No period in sight although I have had some cramping.
- If I did ovulate on CD13 it is now 19 DPO. If I ovulated on CD 16 it is now 16 DPO.
- I have been testing (because I cannot help myself) and so far everything has come up negative in the 5 minute time after the test. But – I happened to have a test from 2 days ago in my bathroom drawer (because of course I would save them, like they are going to miraculously change into positives and it is super hygienic and normal to have negative pee sticks everywhere, but I digress) and this morning it had a second line – 2 full days after the test. The line is gray not really pink that I can tell, but it is a FRER which I’ve never seen an evap on before, although I don’t know if I have ever checked an old one since by now I ALWAYS have my godamn period and I have gotten sad and angry and thrown all the pee sticks away. This morning all I had left in my stash was a digital (leftover from IVF #1 when I was so hopeful, ha) and that of course came up with the glaring ‘Not Pregnant’ on the screen.
So the rambling question that I can’t answer for myself is WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON HERE? Is this some kind of ‘chemical’ (I really hate that word) happening way too late for any hope, are my tons of supplements just throwing my body out of whack, is it an evap and I am silly for even looking at it again or maybe I will get my period any second and this drama will be over. I was thinking of maybe calling for a blood test if I haven’t gotten the period by Saturday (although that seems awkward since I think I would call my old clinic that now knows I am planning on CCRM) – but that also seems desperate and crazy and sure to end in a negative result making me feel even sillier and sadder.
Thanks for listening to my rambling insanity – any advice from anyone that has been in a similar situation and how it turned out would be most welcome.