Not pregnant, just my body being an asshole

Still no period.  Called the clinic when they opened this morning and after some discussion (they sounded like they think I am a little crazy, which I realize is not far off) they agreed to have me come in for a beta and progesterone test.  Drove down there this morning, had a bit of PTSD freak out at being there again after all that has happened.  After getting the blood test, which was for some reason more painful than usual, I was in and out in about 10 minutes.

The nurse called at 2 pm – I am definitely not pregnant (not surprised, but had a bit of that bitch hope holding on against all odds).  The progesterone was elevated though, so they do believe I ovulated, but no telling exactly when.  This is where I get angry.  How the fuck could my body not just finish the full ovulation when we were on vacation?  Really, is that too much to ask?  Get a positive OPK, ovulate an egg, and then at least give us a fucking chance at a non IVF pregnancy.  But nope, not going to happen.  So now I have no clue when I did actually ovulate and have missed any sort of window for timed TTC, so now I just basically hang out until I get my period and we fly to Denver for CCRM.  Awesome.  Time for more wine.


11 thoughts on “Not pregnant, just my body being an asshole

  1. Gross. It’s not enough that a woman’s body is a literal hot mess of emotion and hormone soup. It also has to do stupid things like not give indication of ovulation or allow pregnancy. Yay. But a real yay for Denver!

  2. Ugh! This just sucks! I’m so sorry hon. Praying AF shows soon so you can just move on to the next step. Big hug hon.

  3. You don’t just hang out… You hang out with your wine bottle because once Denver time comes it could be a very long time until you taste that wonderful elixir again. Hang in there. Oh I just read the last line… You’re all over the wine. Atta girl. Off to pour myself a glass. Or maybe a glass of ice cold Fireball…. Weird but sounds good.

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