Work is taking over my life and other stuff

So work has been taking over my life recently which has resulted in me being super behind in posting.  But I’ve been meaning to provide a bunch of updates on the road to IVF #3 and just generally fun and not so much fun stuff that has been going on.  Since I can’t seem to get thoughtful, cohesive posts out about each subject let’s have some fun with sections and bullet points!

Update on where we are in the IVF #3 process

  • Blood work came back normal for the rest of my tests, including the genetic carrier testing, with the exception of vitamin D.  I am a wee bit low in this area (not shocking since we live in Seattle) so am now adding another pill to my extensive list.  My husband’s genetic testing hasn’t come back yet but since I am all good they said his shouldn’t matter at this point, but we’ll see.
  • I had a mammogram on Tuesday.  This is where my infertility/I don’t give a shit who sees or shoves things into my various body parts experience really came in handy (finally a time where this has helped me!).  Before I tell this story, let’s start with the fact that I am a 32B – so there is not much to work with here.  I get to the cancer care clinic (holy shit was that horribly sad and depressing, did make me feel grateful for what I have) and do the check-in for my appointment and then go up to the mammogram floor.  A very nice lady came and took me back to a small room attached to the mammogram/radiology room.  After I undressed (top off instead of bottoms off this time, a nice change) she opened the door on the other side to bring me into the actual room and strapped a lead apron over my stomach.  And this is where it gets intimate.  I knew that getting a mammogram involved sticking a boob into a machine that flattens it with a pancake.  What I didn’t know is that it involved this woman basically cramming said boob in to the machine for various angles and positioning your body in certain ways so that they could get all of your tissue into the smoosher.  Picture topless twister with a lady your mothers age twisting and pushing the boob into the machine with all her might.  My inner monologue was laughing so hard at the absurdity that I didn’t even have time to think it it hurt or not.  Good news is that the pictures all look good and my boobs are cleared for IVF round 3.  AND the cancer center place faxed over my results right away without me having to call and nag them – score another point.
  • As part of this process of seeing a clinic out of town for IVF I had to establish with a local clinic here to do my monitoring.  And CCRM hadn’t used my beloved smaller Seattle clinic before so I had to establish with a new place.  I called to do this and was told that I would need to be established as a patient, which was fine and made sense to me.  So I went in and sat down with yet another doctor to tell him my story.  I get through the part where I explain that I just need monitoring and he looks at me kind of funny and says ‘that’s all you need?  than you don’t need this consultation’ to which I say (to myself) no shit, buddy.  So he is confused and seems annoyed at whoever scheduled me and basically says that unless I have any questions are don’t need the rest of the meeting.  So I say, ‘Well there is one thing you can do for me – I’m waiting to ovulate to get my beta-3 integrin test and this cycle has been kind of weird, so I’d love to know where I am in my cycle if you can do a quick ultrasound.’  He then tells me he doesn’t agree with the beta-3 test (newsflash – what you think is not important to me) but he will do the ultrasound.  This is all slightly awkward but I’m getting what I want so I don’t really care at this point.  We do the ultrasound and I have a lead follicle that is 17.2 (this is on Tuesday) which makes me happy since it means that ovulation is going to happen soon and we can get another step further in this process.
  • Today is Friday, I got an positive OPK yesterday so called and scheduled the beta-3 procedure for Monday the 14th.  My nephew’s third birthday is on the 12th so have been going back and forth with being in Denver for his party or not.  In the end I decided that being at a child’s birthday party with all the adorable 3 year olds is probably not a good idea for me right now – although being with him 1:1 will be great, so I’m flying in a bit after the party for a smaller family celebration.
  • After the procedure I am thinking that we will start the down regulation – estrogen and testosterone at the start of my next period – which should be in about 13 days.  VERY ready to get this show on the road.

OPP (other people’s pregnancies)

  • I stole this phrase from another blog, I think it was Mine to Command – but it’s been in my head for a while, and it makes me laugh
  • The woman who works for me hasn’t said if she is or not – but had to leave a meeting looking pretty green the other day, so I’m guessing that she is.  I had a moment of not being a very good person aka jealousy but that is since left me and I really hope that she is and that all has well.  I haven’t asked since I’m her boss (and I can’t) and I want her to be able to process it and tell me on her own terms.
  • Another woman who I work closely with is pregnant.  She and her husband have been trying for a while and she had a really bad fibroid that resulted in surgery a while back.  Her husband wouldn’t get tested (which would not fly in my marriage) so she was unsure of how they would proceed.  She called me yesterday to tell me that she was surprise pregnant and wanted me to know early since she knows everything we’re going through, and that she hopes I am joining her later this summer.  And honestly, I was totally good with it, and super excited for them.  Maybe it’s since we are closer to starting this next round (or I am in denial) but I feel like I am a pretty good place (could end tomorrow, we’ll see).
  • Another dear friend that is in Denver is due to give birth any day now and will be induced on Monday if she doesn’t go into labor beforehand.  She also knows everything we are going through and has been incredibly sweet and sensitive to us.  I am excited, but a little scared of the emotions that might bubble up when I see and hold him for the first time when I’m out there for CCRM.  
  • I had a dream last night that I was in my grandmother’s house (the one that passed away the day of our third IUI failure) and in there were all the stuffed animals that I used to play with there as a child.  Somehow there were other people trying to take the stuffed animals away and I was losing my shit and literally fighting people for them.  Maybe my true are manifesting themselves in my subconscious, you think?

And lastly, I just finished a fascinating book – and it has backed up some of what I did in between IVF #1 and #2, and what I am hard core doing now for IVF #3.  I definitely recommend it to anyone going through this process, waayyy more scientific and researched than all of the dr googling I did in the past! 

Here’s a link for a free download from Jessah at Dreaming with Dimples

Hope all is well with all of you – will try and post more often, and will definitely update once I go through the B-3 Integrin Biopsy (which I expect to be horrific).  Have a fabulous weekend!




13 thoughts on “Work is taking over my life and other stuff

  1. I was laughing hard about the whole mammogram thing… then I was thinking… oh no when is it going to be my turn? In my last 4 IVFs, nobody has asked me to do a mammogram. But I feel like I should pay more attention to it since I’m approaching 40. Glad that you’re feeling okay about pregnant people around you. I can’t wait to hear how this cylce turns out for you. Best of luck!

    • It wasn’t that bad – after all we go through with infertility the mammogram was more funny than anything else. I’m actually glad they required it, which in turn made the insurance pay for it, definitely a responsible approach before they pump me full of hormones again. Hope all is well with you too!

  2. Great update. Im pleased to hear you’re in a good place (although really busy with work). I hope it continues (the good place, not being stupidly busy). Good luck with the B-3 biopsy, I hope it isn’t too horrific. I look forward to hearing more about the hopefully successful IVF#3.

    Also thanks for the link to the book.

    • Thanks lady! Biopsy is next Monday, will let everyone know how it goes. I’m assuming it can’t be as bad as the HSG (really hated that one). Excited for you as well that you are starting down the TTC road again, keeping my fingers crossed that this cycle is it for you!

  3. The mental image of you getting that mammogram is too funny. So relieved all was good with the results! Good luck with your upcoming tests. I hope the B-3 Integrin Biopsy isn’t too awful. I will be thinking about you!

    • Thanks hon, it was a pretty absurd process, not sure if I would have found it funny not having gone through all the embarrassing portions of infertility – how’s that for a silver lining? Hope you are doing as well as you can be this week, have been thinking about you too 🙂

      • I know it’s amazing how thick your skin needs to get when you go through all of this. We’re becoming a new breed of super women! Thanks hon. I’m doing okay. The weekend was hard, but I survived it once again. Hugs! Good luck with everything!

    • It was pretty absurd, but at least it provides some humor and a good story. I’m excited for you too – will be following along as you get started with your next IVF, hopefully this next round will be it for both of us!

  4. It’s coming up so fast! I’m so excited for you!The mammogram sounds both horrific and hysterical. As for other people’s pregnancies, I always found that it was hardest to take when a cycle had failed (or when I was pretty sure a cycle had failed) or when I was on a break. When I was plowing ahead with treatment, it was a little easier to bear. I hope the beta 3 integrin test goes really well and isn’t too unpleasant.

    • Thanks lady – can’t wait to hear about how the move went for you guys! Hopefully all was pretty easy and not too stressful (you have enough in your life right now for sure).

  5. I had a major flashback to my mammogram last year when I read your post! I’m 32B too and it was rather amusing (entirely in retrospect though!) to watch the young technician try her damnedest best to squeeze my boobs into the ‘tortilla press’!!! Good luck for your beta-3 biopsy. If you ever have any CCRM related questions, do feel free to get in touch.

    • At least we can try and make most things funny and into a good story’ in retrospect’ – that definitely keeps me going :). And thanks for the support, may definitely take you up on that offer, have just started following your blog recently and am so hopeful for your 6 CCS normals – would love to get that result although I know how much of a roller coaster it is (just reading about them mistaking the results on that phone call kills me). If the beta-3 comes back with an issue, also agree with you that lupron is an instrument of satan – was on that crap for IVF #1 and truly and completely hated it.

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