Why can’t anything just go according to plan?

So I went to the satellite clinic here in Seattle this morning.  Side note – I really don’t like that place.  The front desk staff is nice, but both of the doctors I have seen didn’t really treat me like much of a patient.  And I realize I’m not their patient, I’m what they call a ‘technical or monitoring’ patient, but I am paying them money, so I feel like they could at least not be so cold and unfriendly about it.  I really liked my original Seattle clinic, but CCRM had no record of working with them so I went with this bigger clinic as they had worked with CCRM in the past.  If this FET works I can’t imagine going there for ultrasounds, but we’ll cross that bridge when we get to it.  

Anyway, back to the story.  So I went to get my ultrasound with Dr Unfriendly and ovaries look good – everything is nice and quiet, but my lining is already at 9.52!  And it’s only CD8, as of this morning I was a full 14 days away from the targeted transfer date.  Obviously he couldn’t say anything to me about it, but I took note of the number and then immediately consulted Dr Google and learned that it’s pretty ahead of the game considering that I’m not supposed to transfer until September 9th. 

My lovely nurse at CCRM called me about 2 and confirmed my google results – I am moving forward a bit too quickly for their liking and she wanted to know if I could somehow get this clinic to monitor me on Monday (which is a holiday) to see where it is at that point.  Since I don’t want to argue with this clinic I just told her that we would drive up Saturday instead of Sunday and I would be at CCRM bright an early for a date with the dildocam on Monday.  I then asked if they were concerned.  And she played it very positive, but said that there is a point where they don’t want your lining to get too thick and that what we would do is keep me at 1 patch every other day (was originally supposed to start 2 on Friday, 3 on Sunday, 4 next Tuesday) and then add oral estrogen to try and catch my hormone levels up with my lining.  I don’t totally get what that’s about and I hand’t really let all this sink in yet so didn’t ask for a ton more details.  She said the hope was that it slows down a bit to let us get everything else in synch and if we needed to do the transfer early that would be fine and that worst case scenario they would cancel and we would try again next cycle.  

I am not feeling fine about this.  We have these two embryos, and they are it from the last 6 months of my life, this one chance.  I don’t want to waste them if everything isn’t aligned perfectly to give them the best opportunity.  I realize logically that they are the experts and I will go with their advice here and if they say transferring earlier is no big deal I take them at their word, but the perfectionist/type A personality that I am is scared to death that if this little thing goes wrong the whole thing won’t work.  And I think I’m having some flashbacks to IVF #1 where I was such a newbie to all of this and so naive that I didn’t even see the warning signs in front of me.  Maybe this is a big warning sign and I just can’t see it since we’ve never done an FET before, only the one failure of a fresh transfer.  t think that is what bothered me so much about my tooth issue as well (dentist tomorrow for that), I had a big plan to do everything right, to prepare every little thing that I can control in the hopes that it would have some sort of effect on the outcome.  There is so little that can be controlled in this process that I just want everything right now to be perfect leading up to this.  The pressure of all of this is just overwhelming me right now. 

Would love advice for anyone that has done an FET and had things not go as planned, especially along the lines of aggressive lining growth.  Any stories or links to successful outcomes are much appreciated.

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18 thoughts on “Why can’t anything just go according to plan?

  1. I’ve heard of very few stories where a transfer got cancelled due to an overly thick lining. It’s usually the opposite problem that cancels a cycle. From casual observation of all of my IVF friends and personal experience, linings plateau, they don’t grow indefinitely. I’m curious why they wouldn’t want you to start progesterone and move up your transfer date sooner (albeit at your great inconvenience). Was your lining already “triple stripe” / “tri-laminar?” Often they want to see that pattern more than a specific thickness, although anything <7 or 8mm is typically the gold standard. Make a list of questions and scenarios for your nurse. Her responses may be logical and reassuring. But, ultimately, trust your instincts. If the weather isn't right, do not launch the shuttle. CCRM wants you to be successful, but they have far less to lose if you're not. It was hard work to make though precious embryos.

    • Thank you for all of this advice, I used it with my appointment today at CCRM and was far more reassured than the not so nice Seattle clinic. And you were right about the plateau – looks like the Seattle clinic did a bit of sloppy measuring so we are at 8.7 today with a nice triple stripe. Am feeling much better about the plan to move forward and transfer next week.

  2. Sorry I don’t know much about this. I’ve done FETs but I didn’t have this problem. I’d just like to say that my perfect lining lead to 2 BFNs so far this year. So I wouldn’t worry too much. I’d trust the clinic: if they don’t cancel the cycle then it’s probably because the lining is good even if maybe a bit thick..
    I know too well the feeling of putting too much pressure on yourself. I do the same every time! Just try to breathe…
    I have everything crossed for you sweets!! xx

    • Yes, the pressure is really what is at the root of all of this I think. The appointment out here at CCRM did go well and so far we are moving forward. Have another one on Wednesday which should be the final check before the transfer, so fingers crossed for that one.

  3. Something i think is important to accept when going through IVF is that nothing is ever going to go perfectly. Something unexpected is always going to happen. I’ve had 2 cancelled FET cycles (due to early bleeding), so I’ve reached the point that i don’t even care how messy and odd the cycle is, of I can just make it to transfer day, I’ll be happy.

    • Thanks for helping to talk me off the ledge. I am super used to things not going exactly the way they are planned for the stims phase of IVF, but this is my first FET and there is so much pressure as we only have these 2 normal embryos from everything we’ve been through in the past 9 months. Good luck with your natural FET, wish I had been given that option as it sounds much more sane then going through all of these drugs.

    • Not useless at all, just the commiserating helps. I think for me it comes down to control and pressure – I have zero control over this and how it goes has a gigantic impact on my life. Plus hormones. Just so frustrating.

  4. I wouldn’t worry too much, I think they are just recognizing your body and their hormone agenda are not congruent, so they are adjusting accordingly. I think with my first FET my lining was 13mm…it was all good. I call it the 12 and 13 layer salad. I’m sorry about your troubles with the other clinic. That’s got to be frustrating.

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