Life is happily boring

Sorry for staying away for so long, but I haven’t been feeling super well and I’m pretty exhausted so most days go like this:

Go to work – try to make it through this crazy busy and drama filled work time without falling over, come home, eat, go straight to bed (even if it’s 7 pm).  On the weekends I try to recover from the week, we get up, walk the dog, and then I pretty much lay in bed watching college football on Saturday and the NFL on Sunday intermixed with The Gilmore Girls on Netflix.

Because I lack energy and creativity right now here are some updates in the format of bullet points.

  • I am 11 weeks 5 days today.  From 8 weeks until now time seems to be dragging in the sense that I want to make it to the second trimester as quickly as I can in the hopes that we will have crossed yet another hurdle towards making it to having a real live baby.  And at the same time it’s going by very fast, I still have days where I am in shock that I am pregnant and have to remind myself that this is actually happening.
  • I ‘graduated’ from CCRM and stopped all my meds, including the PIO (yay!) and baby aspirin about a week ago.  It was surreal knowing that I wouldn’t talk to my nurse there anymore and that I am now on my own like the normals would be.  Luckily my OB knows my history and seems happy to talk to me about any fears, concerns or requests that I may have.  I did think it was weird that they didn’t want to test my progesterone or estrogen after going off the drugs, but they said that since my placenta is taking over the tests wouldn’t provide anything helpful.  So here I am – just on prenatals, DHA and vitamin D – it is so crazy to only be on a couple of pills a day after almost a year of supplements, hormones, patches, pills and shots.
  • I purchased a doppler – the sonoline c.  The first time using it took me quite a few tries but I eventually was able to find her.  My tip for anyone else out there with a doppler and early pregnancy is to go way lower than the bloat – like almost into your pubic hair low.  So far I mostly just use it once or twice a week to find the heartbeat and get a little reassurance – since I can’t always find her super clearly the actual heart rate doesn’t seem to be totally correct, but I don’t obsess over that, it’s more just hearing that super fast heartbeat that makes me feel better.
  • Oh, the bloat, and oh the constipation.  This level of constipation is no fucking joke.  I have gotten to the point where I will try just about anything for relief, including tons of terrible prune juice (seriously, yuck), kiwis and this magic concoction that my acupuncturist gave me that I’m putting in my morning smoothie.  The past couple of days it has gotten a little bit better, so I’m hoping that is a sign that it will continue to improve.
  • The bloat must be so ridiculous that I am starting to show.  Zero of my pants fit without the bella band and I’m running out of large sweaters to hide it.  Thinking maybe after the NT scan I might go public to my boss and work so that I don’t have to feel like I am weirdly hiding something that I feel so happy about.  And it will be nice to help explain why I have been working from home so much.
  • My morning sickness aka terrible hangover feeling seemed to be at its worst over the past weekend.  I literally spent most of Saturday and Sunday in bed moaning at my poor husband, who couldn’t do much for me.  I still haven’t actually thrown up but I couldn’t help thinking that maybe I would feel better if I did.
  • I did the Maternit21 test on Friday to confirm the embryo genetic testing and the sex of the baby, should get the results back in about 2 weeks.  In general I feel pretty good about it since we did the genetic testing, but there is always the little voice in the back of my mind that is scared about the 5% chance that it could be wrong – we’ve been in the 5% at other times through this journey so it does make me a little bit nervous.  I try to ignore that feeling and just go with the fact that we have made it this far.
  • The NT scan is tomorrow morning!  Figure I will use my trusty doppler right before so that I have some confidence going into it, will let you know how it goes.
  • We are happy.  It is a strange and wonderful feeling to not have all of the stress and fear and sadness of infertility as a constant companion.  I almost feel like more of myself again, the me before the last 3 years of struggle, but with some changes, I think for the better.  I am more open about my personal struggles in the hope that my experience may be able to help someone else, even if in a tiny way.  Before this the thought of sharing my most personal struggles and lowest moments on the internet would never cross my mind and now this space and the relationships I have built here are as important as people I know in the real world.  I am more empathetic towards others as I now know from experience that you never know what someone else is going through.  And I am so very, very thankful to be where we are today, I think that we will be more patient and appreciative parents due to this struggle.  That’s not to say that I would want to go through this again if given the choice, but it’s at least given me some clarity into what is truly important and the person I want to be.

That’s it for now, headed into another meeting – will let you guys know how the NT and the other testing goes!

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20 thoughts on “Life is happily boring

    • Thanks! Will happily take the sickness and constipation for this reason, it’s more just so very strange to be experiencing it first hand instead of reading about it, I think I’m still a little in disbelief that pregnancy is the reason it’s happening. Hoping that you get some clarity on your cycle very soon and can get to net steps.

    • Thanks, hope everything is going great with you as well! Scan was ‘perfectly normal’ to quote the tech, everything measured right in line and looked great, so we are very happy and relieved. Will post a full update later when I’m done with work.

  1. I’m so happy things are going well! Doppler question: when did you start using yours? I’ve thought about getting one but I’ve read they shouldn’t be used before 11 weeks because they might not pick anything up, so I’m curious 🙂

    • I started using mine at 10 weeks 1 day. I watched a ton of YouTube videos to figure out how to use it and they helped a lot, but even with them I didn’t realize how very low I needed to go in order to find the heartbeat. The first time I used it I would try it for 15 minutes and then give up for a bit, and then try again – I had to do that about 3 or 4 times before I finally found it. I also couldn’t find it easily this morning before my NT scan so had a big freak out, but did eventually find it again before the ultrasound, so it’s no big deal if you can’t find it every time. Glad the ear infection is FINALLY starting to get better!

  2. Oh the Doppler! I was loaned one and I adore it. It was so so helpful before I felt movement. I’m glad it’s bringing you a bit of peace of mind. I can’t believe you’re so close to the second tri! SO EXCITING! Also I thought if you did genetic testing they didn’t do the NT? Hmmm. Anyway, so so happy for you. Keep us posted 🙂

    • I know, I thought the same thing but figured it was a covered ultrasound so I wouldn’t question it since I would get to see her again :). And it was totally worth it, she was jumping around all over the place. You are in the third tri at this point right? So crazy and exciting!!

  3. I was totally the same as you… Almost crippling nausea but no relief by vomiting. Still haven’t vomited at all but am pleased to report the nausea has eased, not disappeared, but eased. I hope the same happens for you soon!

    I’m also hitting the prune juice… Glamorous job this huh?

    • I’m afraid to jinx it but since Monday I have been feeling much better and a lot more energy, so I’m hoping this is a sign that it is easing. Still don’t feel totally normal, but I’ll take it. Oh the prune juice, it is so disgusting, I have to mix it with pelligrino to get it down. A friend of mine suggested Kiwis as well – I’ve been eating 3 a night and the last 2 mornings I have actually had some relief! No clue if it’s just the placenta or the kiwis, but they taste a ton better than the prune juice so I highly suggest them :). How are you doing? Hadn’t seen a post since the last scan but I’m hoping all is well and you are just like me, too tired and bleh feeling to be good ad updating 🙂

  4. I am so happy to see this update and that all is continuing to go well with you and baby! So sorry about the sickness and fatigue. Hope it gets better, but not so much better that it worries you. Hope everything went well at your NT scan today. Can’t wait for your next update!

  5. Happily boring is wonderful! Huge cheers for you and your little girl:). Stories like this make the rest of us almost dare to dream!

  6. Happy to read your posts and get caught up. Congrats things are still going well. I had a couple of questions from this post. Which Vitamin D are you taking? I was going to add to my ARSENAL of pills but wasn’t sure which one to add to help my FET in 4 weeks. Also, are your morning smoothies cold? I stopped drinking mine because the acupuncturist said no cold drinks through transfer..??? I’m so confused. But if your still drinking Cold blended morning smoothies, and your pregnancy and transfer is going a-ok, then I would love to get back on mine. lol. And whats the maternit21 test? I did the chromosone embryo testing (PGS) and got normal embryo’s to transfer….Thanks for all your help if you could in clarifying this stuff! 🙂

    • Sorry this took forever for me to reply to! I am taking NOW Foods Vitamin D – 1,000 IUs daily. My morning smoothies are cold, my acupuncturist felt it was better to get the protein from the almond butter and the greek yoghurt than to worry about the cold vs hot. Here is a link to what is basically the recipe – I use low fat Greek yoghurt and make my own simple syrup (and use half that amount that is in the recipe). http://poeticappetite.blogspot.com/2012/08/weekend-warrior-smoothie.html The Maternit21 test is a test you take at about 12 weeks pregnant – it basically confirms the PGS testing by using the maternal fetal DNA. I did it for just piece of mind as they drilled into me that the PGS was only 95% accurate and this was 99%. And congratulations on getting normal embryos to transfer! I believe that the PGS testing was the best thing I could have done and the biggest thing that helped us actually get pregnant. Good luck and keep in touch, would love to know how the transfer goes! And if you have any other questions I can help with feel free to email me at myladybits2013@gmail.com.

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