36 weeks, the royal baby and other topics

Back in July of 2013 I was in London for work.  Prior to taking the trip I had just started my first pack of BCP’s for IVF #1 (the one that ended in spectacular failure of all shitty eggs).  The hotel we were staying at was literally (and I mean literally, you could see the craziness from my window) right next door to the hospital where Prince George was born and we were there that entire week.  So every day I had all the royal baby hoopla right in front of me as I started down our second year of infertility treatments.  I was bitter and hadn’t totally accepted the fact that we were now in club IVF that not only can’t get pregnant naturally, but couldn’t do it with drugs, timed intercourse, or 3 rounds of IUIs.  At the time I thought it ironic and a constant reminder of what we did not have.  Prince George was born on almost the last day of that trip and whenever I think about that trip I link it to many, many cocktails (we had a lot of fun with the team), the royal baby and the beginning of the IVF phase of our infertility ‘journey’.  I really hate the term journey, it makes it sound so lovely, perhaps infertility years of sadness, anger and booze would be a better description…

Fast forward to now, it’s May 2015 and Kate (because we are so tight as to be on a first name basis) just gave birth to royal baby #2.  And almost two years later and I am in a very different place in my life, here I sit, not in London but in Seattle, a little over 36 weeks pregnant.  Also, I’m glad that the name is Charlotte, I won’t lie I have been more than a little anxious (irrationally I realize) that they would have a girl and use one of the names that I have narrowed down to the top 3 for our baby girl.  The Royal Baby girl name top bets were on Alice which is a family name from my family that we are leaning towards, and I really don’t want my poor kid to have a million others with her name in her class in school (said by someone with a very common name from the 1980s).  Luckily it did not end up being Alice, but I’m sure there are others out there that have the beautiful name Charlotte picked out that are also a little annoyed today…

Speaking of hormones and other subjects.  I am 36 weeks as of yesterday.  And shit is now very real.  I have gone from counting down the days to the, holy fuck, we could actually have a baby any day now level of excitement and terror.  Terror mostly because we have been having our house renovated and it just finished a few days ago.  So now we have a room that is halfway setup, a crib and I would say about 70% of the house put back together but not enough for me to feel like everything is how I want it to be.  And I am a planner, a type-A organized, list making, person that if it were not for the renovations would have had all of this done a month ago.  So I am in ultra nesting and getting shit done mode – resulting in many angry (and amusing in hindsight, to me anyway) rants where I order my husband to do things like paint the front door, get window cleaners scheduled and do the yard work.  He logically tells me the baby does not care about things and I hysterically tell him that I fucking care and it had better get done.  Luckily he and I both realize the level of crazy (thank you IVF for training us well) and I laugh and he quietly just does whatever chore I have forced him to do.

What else has been going on… I had two lovely baby showers, one hosted by my mother and sister, and another by some friends from work.  They were both boozy fun parties with great food and wonderful women, I felt very lucky and honored to have them in my lives and have a lot of them meet each other for the very first time.  During the family baby shower I noticed that my sister was not drinking, so I strongly suspected she was pregnant, and she is, but at least she waited until the day was over to tell me.  I won’t lie I had a few moments of ‘seriously, you have had 3 years to have another kid while we have been trying, and now is the time??’  but I am past that and very happy to have another niece or nephew on the way.  My relationship with my sister is a complicated one though, and could be made more complicated by the fact that my mother (who lives in the same town as her) is moving here to take care of our baby when I go back to work.  So my sister who has been lucky to have free childcare for 3 years with her first child, now has to fend for herself.  I’m kind of expecting that to turn into a shit storm at some point, and I love my sister dearly, but this is what my mom wants to do, and it makes us very happy to have her here.

Update as of a few minutes ago (wrote the above a few hours ago):

I had lots of weird pains and pressure have been happening with my body last night and into this morning, so I happened to talk to my doctor’s office this morning (they called about scheduling for one of my appointments) and mentioned that I was having some pain and pressure, assuming that because they were not coming at timed increments and no bleeding that it was normal.  Well apparently I was wrong and they want to see me in the office ASAP.  So I am now freaking out in a totally different way (see above in terms of readiness), I am not mentally prepared to have a baby in the next couple of days (physically hell yes) and am headed to the doctor.  I promise I will post a blurb with an update after so I don’t leave you guys hanging (unless this goes into actual freaking labor in which case holy shit and I will post when I can).